Stop fixing!

What a day, yesterday was one for the books! The Holy Spirit hit me with some low blows. Over the past few weeks, I knew I was really off balance, but didn’t know why. I was exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally. I even began feeling stress in my body and took off work to rest. There is so much change around me, so I thought that was the issue. After seeking God, He revealed to me that I fell back into fixing again and was slow to recognize the signs. For those that don’t know what a fixer is, here is my definition…. it is someone who places solving other people’s problems as priority even over their own comfort, needs, and assignments. I have been struggling with being a fixer for a few years (even longer, but I didn’t know that’s what it was). It starts off with me “helping” others and turns into me placing myself into the solution to their problems. Helping sounds great, but when it prevents you from doing what you are called to do, it is a problem. I thought I had a handle on this battle, but Holy Spirit showed me how it crept up again. This time when it was shown to me, I was pissed! Why do I feel the need to keep doing that? What is the root of it? I was looking for everyone to blame but myself. I even told God a thing or 2. I felt like He allowed it to go on longer than it should have. If He knew I couldn’t see it, why didn’t He tell me a different way. I finally came to realize that I was the one to blame, I walked right pass the red flags and made an excuse for it. I have been putting myself on the back burner for too long. I must be intentional about taking care of my needs and staying in my lane. I know I am not the only one that struggles with this, so I encourage you to be intentional as well. The tough part of fixing is that it looks like helping and we feel like helping is good, but we are stepping on God’s toes. If a person needs something, you are the one to jump up and say I can do this or that. If something breaks, you are the first one on the scene to put the pieces back together. We are not God! There are things we all have to learn on our journey and if us fixers keep getting in the way, it stunts our growth and definitely others growth. Sometimes we may have the solution and the ability to help, but that doesn’t mean jump in. We have to use wisdom from God to know when to move, speak, intervene, and when to STAY IN OUR LANE! I had a few conversations yesterday where I was able to remove myself from someone else’s lane and get back into my own. Sometimes those conversations are not the easiest, but they are the most important. When you always try to fix things, you become a god to people and that is dangerous! Let’s vow today to show more restraint, wisdom, and humility (no one knows it all). If you want to fix someone, try the person in the mirror and watch how smooth that lane becomes when you drive in the one designed for you.